Rehearsing the Identities We Inherit

May 25

Written By Carla Monroy

A reflection on discomfort, creativity, and the courage to rewrite yourself.

Poetry Prompt

Write a poem inspired by this statement: Sometimes the stories we tell ourselves become the truth.

It’s Not Coincidental

They say nothing happens by chance.

A whim isn’t really a whim
it’s the ego.

The ego acting to make you
complacent.

We are the way we are
because that is how
we want to be.

There are no accidents—
philosophers argue that trauma
is only there to hold you back
because you want it to.

I think what they really mean,
is that we have free will. A choice

over how we will react to situations
we have no control over.

Are you going to suck it up,
or allow it to consume you?

Are you going to pull up
your big boy pants and scale
such hurdles?

It sounds insensitive
I know.

Somewhere along the way
discomfort became something
to avoid

instead of something
to grow through.

Stories that Play on Loop

To change takes an enormous amount of mental effort. It requires rewiring thought patterns so deeply ingrained they feel like instinct. It means tracing behaviors back to the exact moments that shaped them and asking whether those impressions still deserve authority over your life. Some factors are outside of our control. There comes a point where the story stops being inherited and starts becoming what you are choosing.

People say life is simple, yet living rarely feels simple. Maybe the complication comes from over-analysis—from layering meaning onto everything instead of focusing on what is directly in front of us. Maybe there are levels to thinking, and the more we complicate our inner world, the harder it becomes to act.

Overthinking is easy. Repetition is hard. Writing consistently is hard. Changing habits is hard. Choosing long-term health over temporary comfort is hard. But becoming someone new requires sustained action long after motivation disappears.

Comfort Can Become Personality

The poetry prompt for this piece came from a line that has been haunting me lately: Sometimes the stories we tell ourselves become the truth. It immediately made me think about the themes in The Courage to Be Disliked and even a movie quote I referenced in an earlier blog—this idea that identity is often just a repeated narrative we’ve agreed to keep believing. Not every limitation is real. Some are rehearsed so often they harden into personality.

The book argues that many people stay attached to old pain, old labels, and old versions of themselves because those stories are familiar. Comfort disguises itself as truth. That idea has been sitting with me heavily lately, especially while trying to build discipline, creativity, consistency, and a life that reflects who I want to become rather than the kid my upbringing made me.

Putting Yourself Out There Quietly

Sometimes I feel dry creatively and other times I feel lucid with ideas and they come pouring out of me. Sharing myself can be unnerving but you must put yourself out there. There is no other choice.

I think you can put yourself out there publicly in private. You don’t have to shove it people’s faces. Are there parts of you that you’re struggling to change? Know someone who would appreciate this, send it to them.

My debut collection, American Mexican is out now. Pick up your copy here.