The Family I Thought I Had vs. the Family I’m Choosing

Mar 27

On returning home, unraveling old roles, and confronting the version of myself I thought I outgrew

The Prompt: Write an acrostic poem from the word HOME. Each line must begin with the letter provided.

Home could be a million things, it isn’t…
Obstacles, obligations, commitments made—things that force us to stray off course.
My instincts turn up and I’m on high alert but…
Every time, I seem to end up where I’m supposed to be.

The Story We’re Sold

I’ve been away from home for five weeks. While that doesn’t sound like a lot, it can feel like an eternity when you are living it.

While away, I’ve been listening to podcasts and reading about highly successful people—those who’ve built businesses, made millions, and have optimized everything. And yet, when they talk about what matters most, it always comes back to the same thing: spending time with family.

When we think of family, we default to the version society sells us—a husband, a wife, kids neatly in place. It’s familiar, so we accept it without question. But family isn’t always about bloodline. It’s a choice, defined by the people who show up, not the roles they’re supposed to play.

What Happens When you Go “Home”

So, I’ve been staying with my parents. I love them. But somewhere along the way, they stopped being the center of my life. Saying that out loud feels wrong, but it’s true. And being back under their roof does something to me. I regress.

Conversations with my mom don’t feel like conversations between adults. They pull something older out of me—reactive, emotional, five years old. Add in travel exhaustion, a lingering cold, work stress, and distance from my husband, and I’ve spent the last couple of weeks feeling everything at once: frustrated, powerless, homesick, irritated. Not my best self.

There’s a reason adults don’t live with their parents. Being here has forced me to see something I usually avoid. I have a tendency to pull the wool over my own eyes when it comes to conflict. It’s easier to smooth things over than to sit in discomfort. But this time, there was nowhere to hide

Redefining What Counts

At one point, I texted my husband and called the trip “ugly.” I feel embarrassed about that now. But maybe it wasn’t wrong to call it that.

With nothing but time—delayed flights, broken Wi-Fi, long stretches of quiet—I’ve started to see things more clearly.

For now, the work trips are put away and I’m back at my parents’ house for one more week which means lots of bomb ass Mexican food. Sometimes, returning to your childhood home forces you to confront versions of yourself you thought you’d outgrown.

After processing the last few weeks, I see now that with a little forethought and intention I can make this last week the best of my life.

What kind of curve balls is life throwing you right now? How do you make the best of it? If you know someone who can relate share this with them.